The James T. Callow Folklore Archive

CANDID CAMERA STORY (TELEVISION PROGRAM: CANDID CAMERA)

IT SEEMS A MAN CAME HOME FOR DINNER TO FIND HIS WIFE
DRESSED IN AN UNUSUALLY ATTRACTIVE MANNER. BECAUSE HE
HAD SPENT THE ENTIRE AFTERNOON IN A MOTEL WITH HIS
SECRETARY, HE FEARED THAT IF HIS WIFE FOR SOME
STRANGE REASON WOULD MAKE SEXUAL DEMANDS UPON HIM,
HE WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO RESPOND. HE KNEW THIS WOULD
MAKE HER SUSPICIOUS. SHE SEATS HIM GRACIOUSLY IN
THE LIVING ROOM AND ANNOUNCED THAT SHE WOULD RETURN
IN A FEW MINUTES WITH A MANHATTAN.
FEAR TURNED TO PANIC! HE OPENED HIS PANTS, MASSAGED
HIS PENIS, AND BEGAN TO MASTURBATE TO TRY TO STIMULATE
HIMSELF A BIT. HEARING HIS WIFE RETURNING, HE
CONFIDENTLY RE-ZIPS HIS FLY AND PRETENDS HE HAS
BEEN CASUALLY AWAITING THE DRINK. AFTER A FEW SIPS,
HE ASKED HIS WIFE (JOKINGLY) WHAT THE OCCASION WAS.
SHE TOLD HIM THAT SINCE HE WALKED INTO THE HOUSE,
THEY HAD BEEN ON CANDID CAMERA. ALL THEIR FAMILY
AND FRIENDS HAD BEEN INFORMED AND THEY WERE WATCHING
ON TELEVISION.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Date learned: 00-00-1960