The James T. Callow Folklore Archive

STEP HUSBAND TALE

THERE WAS THIS CERTAIN LADY WHO WAS KNOWN FOR HER HABIT
OF ENJOYING THE COMPANY OF MEN OTHER THAN HER HUSBAND.
WELL, IT HAPPENED ONE DAY THAT A DELIVERY MAN CAME TO
HER DOOR AND WHEN SHE COULDN'T PAY THE C.O.D. SHE THEN
OFFERED TO GO TO BED WITH THE MAN IF HE WOULD FORGET
THE BILL. HE ACCEPTED. NOW, WHILE THEY WERE IN BED,
THE DOORBELL RANG. "QUICK HIDE UNDER THE BED," SHE
TOLD THE DELIVERY MAN, "THAT MUST BE MY HUSBAND."
SO HE HID UNDER THE BED AND SHE GOT DRESSED AND WENT
TO THE DOOR. IT WAS NOT HER HUSBAND, BUT THE
INSURANCE MAN WHO HAD COME TO COLLECT THE PREMIUM.
SAYS THE LADY, "I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY, BUT IF YOU'LL
FORGET THE BILL, YOU CAN GO TO BED WITH ME." HE, TOO,
ACCEPTED. SO WHILE THEY WERE IN BED AND THE FIRST MAN WAS
STILL UNDERNEATH, THE BELL RANG AGAIN. "HURRY, GET UNDER
THE BED," SHE SAID; "THIS HAS TO BE MY HUSBAND."
WHILE HE GOT UNDER THE BED, SHE DRESSED AND ANSWERED
THE DOOR. THIS TIME IT WAS THE NEGRO PAPER BOY
COLLECTING. HE, TOO, AGREED TO SETTLE BY GOING TO
BED WITH HER, AND WHILE THEY WERE IN BED THE DOORBELL
RANG AGAIN, "GET UNDER THE BED," SHE CRIED, "IT IS
MY HUSBAND." THIS TIME, IT WAS HER HUSBAND, AND
WHEN SHE ANSWERED THE DOOR, HER CLOTHES WERE MUSSED AND
HER HAIR WAS A MESS. "YOU'VE BEEN WITH ANOTHER MAN
AGAIN," HE YELLED, "I TOLD YOU THAT I WOULD PULL EVERY
HAIR FROM YOUR HEAD IF I CAUGHT YOU AGAIN." HE THEN
COMMENCED TO PULL OUT HER LONG, BLACK HAIR. IT ALL
CAME OUT EXCEPT ONE LAST STRAND. YANKING AS HARD AS
HE COULD, HE YELLED," COME ON OUT YOU LITTLE BLACK
ONE." ON HEARING THIS, THE NEGRO PAPERBOY SHOUTED
FROM UNDER THE BED, "NOT 'TILL THE OTHERS DO."

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Date learned: 00-00-1961