The James T. Callow Folklore Archive

SONG OF RELIGIOUS JEST

I DON'T WANT TO JOIN THE CONVENT, I DON'T WANT TO BE A NUN
FOR I AM A MEMBER OF THE KU KLUX KLAN, BROUGHT UP ON WHISKEY AND RUM
WITH A CIGARETTE YOU'LL FIND ME, AND A BOTTLE IN MY HAND.
OH I CAN'T STAND THAT SACRED SINGING, I CAN'T STAND THOSE
CHURCH BELLS RINGING
I DON'T WANT TO BE A NUN.

FOR I WANT TO GET MARRIED, I WANT TO BE A WIFE
I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS DAMN SINGLE LIFE.
TALL, DARK, AND HANDSOME; SHORT, SKINNY OR FAT,
I WANT TO GET TO MARRIED, AND THAT IS THAT.
 

Data entry tech comment:

Informant and collector are the same person.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): MARRIAGE

Date learned: 10-30-1969

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THE CAPTAIN VS. THE ADMIRAL

THE CAPTAIN HE RIDES IN A MOTORBOAT,
THE ADMIRAL HE RIDES IN A BARGE,
IT ISN'T A DAMN BIT FASTER, BIT FASTER,
BUT IT GIVES THE OLD BASTARD A CHARGE.

THE CAPTAIN HE SLEEPS IN A HAMMOCK,
THE ADMIRAL HE SLEEPS IN A BED.
IT ISN'T A DAMN BIT SOFTER, BIT SOFTER,
BUT IT'S TWENTY FEET NEARER THE HEAD.

Submitter comment:

A TUNE I LEARNED IN COLLEGE.

Data entry tech comment:

Informant and collector are the same person.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): NAVY SONG

Date learned: 11-16-1969

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A WINE COMMERCIAL

CHORUS:
RIPPLE, RIPPLE, R-I-DOUPLE P-L-E
IT WARMS YOUR TUMM-EE-EE-EE

WELL, RIPPLE IS NEAT AND RIPPLE IS COOL,
WISH I HAD RIPPLE IN MY SWIMMING POOL.

CHORUS

SOME SAY RIPPLE IS JUNK
BUT FOR 79 CENTS ITS ONE HELLUVA DRUNK.

CHORUS

Submitter comment:

A COLLEGE SAILING SONG.

Data entry tech comment:

Informant and collector are the same person.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

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JESUS SAVES

JESUS SAVES HIS MONEY AT THE CHASE MANHATTAN BANK,
JESUS SAVES HIS MONEY AT THE CHASE MANHATTAN BANK,
JESUS SAVES HIS MONEY AT THE CHASE MANHATTAN BANK,
JESUS SAVES! JESUS SAVES! JESUS SAVES!

Submitter comment:

A COLLEGE FRATERNITY TUNE

Data entry tech comment:

Informant and collector are the same person.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Date learned: 10-25-1969

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BUCKEYES

THE BUCKEYES THEY LIE IN A STUPOR,
THE BUCKEYES THEY LIE ON THE FLOOR,
THE BUCKEYES THEY LIE IN A STUPOR,
UNTIL THEY CAN'T LIE ANY MORE.

THEY SAID THAT THEY COULD REALLY SAIL,
THEY SAID THEY COULD ALWAYS DRINK BEER,
BUT AFTER THEY HAD MET OUR SKIPPERS,
THEY WISHED THEY HAD NEVER COME HERE.

BUT NOW THAT WE HAVE WON THE REGATTA,
AND THE TROPHY IS FILLED WITH GOOD CHEER,
WE,LL DRINK A TOAST TO THE BUCKEYES,
AND HOPE FOR THE SAME THING NEXT YEAR.

Submitter comment:

TUNE: "MY BONNIE LIES OVER THE OCEAN"
A COLLEGE SONG

Data entry tech comment:

Informant and collector are the same person.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): OHIO

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HUMOROUS RELIGIOUS SONG

I DON'T CARE IF IT RAINS OR FREEZES
'LONG AS I GOT MY PLASTIC JESUS
SITTIN' ON THE DASHBOARD OF MY CAR.

REFRAIN:
OF MY CAR, OF MY CAR,
SITTIN' ON THE DASHBOARD OF MY CAR.

BRAKES DON'T WORK, BUT THAT DON'T SCARE ME
'LONG AS I GOT MY MAGNETIC MARY
SITTIN' ON THE DASHBOARD OF MY CAR.

REFRAIN

I DON'T HIT THAT OLD BRAKE PEDAL
'LONG AS I GOT MT ST. CHRISTOPHER MEDAL
SITTIN' ON THE DASHBOARD OF MY CAR.

REFRAIN

DRINKIN' AND DRIVIN' ALWAYS MIX
'LONG AS I GOT MY CRUCIFIX
SITTIN' ON THE DASHBOARD OF MY CAR.

REFRAIN

WITH THE STEERING I DON'T BOTHER
'LONG AS I GOT GOD THE FATHER
SITTIN' ON THE DASHBOARD OF MY CAR.

REFRAIN

I DON'T CARE IF I HIT A POST
'LONG AS THERE'S THE HOLY GHOST
SITTIN' ON THE DASHBOARD OF MY CAR.

REFRAIN

I DON'T KNOW, BUT I GOT HOPE
THAT SOMEDAY I WILL HAVE THE POPE
SITTIN ON THE DASHBOARD OF MY CAR.

REFRAIN

I'LL SPEED ON TO INFINITIES
WHILE ALL THE DARNED DIVINITIES ARE
SITTIN' ON THE DASHBOARD OF MY CAR.

REFRAIN

Submitter comment:

SUNG IN A HILLBILLY-LIKE STYLE.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Date learned: 00-00-1967

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Verse with Music

THE BOYS HERE AT (ALL GIRLS' BOARDING SCHOOL)
THEY SAY ARE MIGHTY FINE.
THEY'RE EITHER UNDER SEVEN
OR OVER FORTY-NINE.
CHORUS:
I DON'T WANT NO MORE OF BOARDING LIFE
GEE MA, I WANNA GO HOME!

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Date learned: 00-00-1968

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Rhyme with Music

IT'S RAINING; IT'S POURING
THE OLD MAN IS SNORING
HE BUMPED HIS HEAD
AND WENT TO BED
AND HE WOULDN'T GET UP 'TIL MORNING.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Date learned: 00-00-1968

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HEH! HEH! HEH! FOR THE NUNS IN THE CELLARS OF OLD GESU.
WHO DRINK UP THE BEER AND THE WINE
RUN RUN RUN I THINK I HEAR A NUN
GRAB ALL THE WHISKEY AND THE WINE.

Data entry tech comment:

Informant and collector share the same surname.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Date learned: 04-00-1968

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A FRIENDLY SONG

FRIENDSHIP, FRIENDSHIP
GOOD OLD-FASHIONED FRIENDSHIP
WHEN OTHER FRIENDSHIPS ARE SOON FORGOT
OURS WILL STILL BE HOT.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Date learned: 04-01-1968

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DIRTY LIL

DIRTY LIL, DIRTY LIL,
LIVES ON TOP OF A GARBAGE HILL.
NEVER TOOK A BATH, AND NEVER WILL,
PPTUT, DING, DIRTY LIL!

Submitter comment:

TUNE: NOT DEFINITE--LIKE A CHANT

Data entry tech comment:

Informant and collector share the same surname.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Date learned: CA00001960

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CHILDREN'S CAMP SONG

I KNOW A WEENIE MAN, HE OWNS A WEENIE STAND
HE SELLS MOST EVERYTHING FROM HOT DOGS ON DOWN
SOMEDAY I'LL SHARE HIS LIFE
I'LL BE HIS WEENIE WIFE
HOT DOG, I LOVE THAT WEENIE MAN
I KNOW A CAMERA MAN, HE OWNS A CAMERA STAND
HE SELLS MOST EVERYTHING FROM CAMERAS ON DOWN
SOMEDAY I'LL SHARE HIS LIFE
I'LL BE HIS CAMERA WIFE
SNAPSHOT, I LOVE THAT CAMERA MAN
I KNOW A FRUITY MAN, HE OWNS A FRUITY STAND
HE SELLS MOST EVERYTHING FROM PEACHES ON DOWN
SOMEDAY I'LL SHARE HIS LIFE
I'LL BE HIS FRUITY WIFE
PEACHFUZZ, I LOVE THAT FRUITY MAN
I KNOW A HIPPIE MAN, HE OWNS A HIPPIE STAND
HE SELLS MOST EVERYTHING FROM LOVEBEADS ON DOWN
SOMEDAY I'LL SHARE HIS LIFE
I'LL BE HIS HIPPIE WIFE
HIPSHOD, I LOVE THAT HIPPIE MAN

Submitter comment: THIS SONG IS SUNG AT CYO (CATHOLIC YOUTH ORGANIZATION) CAMPS.
TO THE TUNE OF "MY GAL'S A CORKER"

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; Port Sanilac

Date learned: 06-00-1975

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CHILDREN'S CAMP SONG

L O DOUBLE L I P O P SPELLS LOLLIPOP,
LOLLIPOP
THAT'S THE ONLY DECENT KIND OF CANDY,
CANDY
THE MAN WHO MADE IT MUST HAVE BEEN A DANDY,
DANDY
L O DOUBLE L I P O P YOU SEE
IT'S A LICK ON A STICK
GUARANTEED TO MAKE YOU SICK
IT'S LOLLIPOP FOR ME.
C A S T O R O I L SPELLS CASTOR OIL,
CASTOR OIL
THAT'S THE ONLY DECENT KIND OF MEDICINE,
MEDICINE
THE MAN WHO MADE IT MUST HAVE BEEN AN EDISON,
EDISON
C A S T O R O I L YOU SEE
IT'S A LICK ON A SPOON
GUARANTEED TO MAKE YOU SWOON
IT'S CASTOR OIL FOR ME.
B U B B L E G U M SPELLS BUBBLE GUM,
BUBBLE GUM
THAT'S THE ONLY DECENT KIND OF CHEWING GUM,
CHEWING GUM
MAN WHO MADE IT MUST HAVE BEEN A NERVOUS ONE,
NERVOUS ONE
B U B B L E G U M YOU SEE
BUBBLE HERE, BUBBLE THERE, BUBBLE EVEN IN YOUR HAIR
IT'S BUBBLE GUM FOR ME.

Submitter comment: THIS SONG IS SUNG AT CYO (CATHOLIC YOUTH ORGANIZATION) CAMPS.
WHEN THE LETTERS ARE SPACED THAT MEANS THAT THE LETTERS ARE SUNG
INSTEAD OF THE WHOLE WORD.
TO THE TUNE OF "HARRIGAN"

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; Port Sanilac

Date learned: 06-00-1975

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THIS GIRL WAS DRIVING DOWN AN ISOLATED ROAD LATE AT NIGHT
WHEN HER CAR RAN OUT OF GAS. LUCKILY SHE WAS NEAR ENOUGH
TO A FARM HOUSE SO SHE COULD GO UP TO THE HOUSE AND POSSIBLY
FIND SOMEONE TO TAKE HER TO A STATION TO GET GAS OR MAYBE THE
PEOPLE THEMSELVES HAD SOME GAS SHE COULD USE TO GET HOME ON.
SHE WALKED UP TO THE DOOR AND A LITTLE OLD WOMAN ANSWERED AFTER
SHE HAD BEEN STANDING THERE AT LEAST TEN MINUTES AND IT
STARTED TO POUR RAIN. THE GIRL WAS STARTING TO GET FRIGHTENED
BECAUSE SHE DID NOT PARTICULARLY CARE FOR THUNDER AND LIGHTENING.
THE OLD WOMAN EXPLAINED TO THE GIRL THAT NO ONE AT HER HOUSE
DROVE SO SHE HAD NO REASON TO KEEP GASOLINE AROUND. IT WAS TOO
LATE AT NIGHT FOR HER TO FIND ANYONE TO TAKE HER TO A STATION
AND THE NEAREST ONE WAS FIVE MILES AWAY AND IT WOULD
BE CLOSED ANYWAY. SO THE LADY AFTER SOME HESITATION LET THE GIRL
IN THE HOUSE AND GAVE HER SOME HOT CHOCOLATE. THE LADY EXPLAINED
TO HER THAT SHE COULD STAY IN A ROOM UPSTAIRS BUT SHE MUST WARN
HER ABOUT HER SON WHO OFTEN GETS UP DURING THE NIGHT.
AFTER HEARING THAT THE GIRL QUICKLY LOCKED THE DOOR AND BEGAN
TO FEEL SAFE AND WARM WHEN SHE COULD HEAR A KEY TURNING IN THE
LOCK. SHE ASKED WHO WAS THERE BUT NO ONE ANSWERED. SHE
CREPT DOWN LOW IN HER COVERS AND SHE SAW BEFORE HER THIS HUGE
UGLY MAN. HE SAID, "WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE WHAT I CAN DO WITH MY
HANDS?" HE KEPT REPEATING IT OVER AND OVER AND THE GIRL BEGAN
TO CRY AND SHE LEAPED OUT OF BED AND RAN DOWN THE STAIRS AND OUT THE
HOUSE BEHIND THE BARN AND HE WAS BEHIND HER WHEN SUDDENLY HE
DISAPPEARED. SHE WAS OUT OF BREATH AND SOAKING WET AND THE
LIGHTENING WAS FLASHING AND THE THUNDER WAS CRASHING AND SHE
RAN BACK TO THE HOUSE AND POUNDED ON THE DOOR. THE OLD WOMAN ONCE
AGAIN TOOK HER TIME IN ANSWERING THE DOOR AND LOOKED AT THE GIRL
VERY STRANGELY BECAUSE SHE HAD BEEN OUTSIDE. THE GIRL WEPT AND
TOLD THE WOMAN THE STORY. THE WOMAN TOLD HER IT WAS HER IMAGINATION
AND TO GO BACK TO BED. SO THE GIRL ONCE AGAIN GOT COMFORTABLE
AFTER SITTING IN FRONT OF THE FIRE TO DRY OFF. SHE WAS
DRIFTING OFF TO SLEEP WHEN SHE HEARD THE KEY IN THE LOCK TURNING
ONCE AGAIN. THE HUGE UGLY MAN CAME IN THE ROOM AND BEGAN HIS
CHANT OF, "WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE WHAT I CAN DO WITH MY HANDS?"
THE GIRL JUMPED OUT OF BED SOONER THIS TIME AND RAN DOWN THE STAIRS
AND OUT OF THE HOUSE AND AROUND BACK OF THE BARN. THE HUGE UGLY
MAN WAS RIGHT BEHIND HER AND HE KEPT REPEATING HIS CHANT.
THE LIGHTENING WAS STILL FLASHING AND THE THUNDER WAS STILL
CRASHING AND THE GIRL FINALLY GAVE UP AND SAID OKAY. THE MAN PUT HIS
FINGERS TO HIS LIPS AND BROUGHT HIS LIP DOWN TO CREATE A NOISE.

Submitter comment: ANTICLIMAX.
THIS STORY IS TOLD TO CAMPERS AT CYO ( CATHOLIC YOUTH
ORGANIZATION ) CAMP FOR GIRLS.
THIS NOISE WOULD NOT HAVE TO BE DESCRIBED WHEN TELLING THE STORY
BECAUSE THE STORY TELLER WOULD DO IT HIMSELF.
THE STORY'S ENDING IS AN EXAMPLE OF COMIC RELIEF TO ASSURE THE
CAMPERS OF A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; Port Sanilac

Date learned: 00-00-1975

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MONTAGUE WAS A BAD BUNNY FOR HIS FAVORITE ACTIVITY WAS SQUASHING
BABY BUNNIES. HE TRIED TO STOP IT BUT IT WAS TOO MUCH FUN FOR HIM.
ONE DAY MONTAGUE WAS TAKING A WALK. HE WENT UP THE HILL, AROUND
THE HILL, THROUGH THE HILL- NO, BUNNIES CAN'T GO THROUGH HILLS.
WHEN HE SAW A CUTE LITTLE BABY BUNNY PLAYING IN THE GRASS. MONTAGUE
WALKED RIGHT UP TO THAT BABY BUNNY AND HE SQUASHED THAT BABY
BUNNY SO HARD THAT THE FAIRY HEARD. THE FAIRY HAD WARNED THE BAD
MONTAGUE BEFORE ABOUT SQUASHING BABY BUNNIES BUT SHE THOUGHT
MONTAGUE HAD STOPPED. THE FAIRY SAID, "MONTAGUE, YOU BAD
BUNNY. YOU WILL GET THREE WARNINGS AFTER WHICH I'M GOING TO TURN YOU
INTO A GOON." WELL, MONTAGUE SURE DIDN'T WANT TO BE TURNED INTO A
GOON SO HE HAD TO THINK OF SOMETHING BETTER TO DO. SO MONTAGUE
WENT FOR A WALK. HE WENT UP THE HILL, AROUND THE HILL
AND THROUGH THE HILL- NO, BUNNIES CAN'T GO THROUGH HILLS.
THEN HE SAT DOWN FOR A REST WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN A BABY BUNNY
WENT DANCING BY HIM. WELL, MONTAGUE JUST COULDN'T HELP IT. HE FIGURED
THAT THE FAIRY WAS OUT OF EARSHOT SO HE TOOK THAT BABY BUNNY
AND HE SQUASHED THAT BABY BUNNY WHEN SURE ENOUGH HE HEARD THE
FAIRIES TWINKLE, TWINKLE. THE FAIRY GAVE MONTAGUE A LECTURE AND
WARNED MONTAGUE THAT HE ONLY HAD ONE MORE CHANCE. WELL, MONTAGUE
REALLY HAD TO THINK SO HE WENT FOR A WALK.MONTAGUE WENT UP THE HILL,
AROUND THE HILL, THROUGH THE HILL- NO, BUNNIES CAN'T GO THROUGH
HILLS. MONTAGUE SAT DOWN FOR A LONG TIME AND DRIFTED OFF TO SLEEP.
WHEN MONTAGUE FINALLY WOKE UP HE SAW A BABY BUNNY RIGHT IN FRONT OF
HIM) MONTAGUE THOUGHT THAT THE FAIRY WOULDN'T REALLY TURN HIM
INTO A GOON SO HE TOOK THAT BABY BUNNY AND HE SQUASHED THAT BABY
BUNNY. THIS TIME MONTAGUE WAS SCARED BECAUSE HE HEARD THE
FAIRIES TWINKLE, TWINKLE AND THIS WAS HIS LAST CHANCE.
MONTAGUE WONDERED WHETHER OR NOT IT WAS WORTH IT SQUASHING ALL THOSE
BABY BUNNIES. HE APOLOGIZED TO THE FAIRY BUT SHE WOULD NOT ACCEPT.
SHE SAID, "I TOLD YOU I WAS GOING TO TURN YOU INTO A GOON AND THAT
IS WHAT I'M GOING TO DO." SO THE FAIRY TURNED MONTAGUE INTO A
GOON. THE MORAL OF THIS STORY IS: HARE TODAY, GOON TOMORROW.

Submitter comment: PUN.
THIS STORY IS TOLD TO CAMPERS AT CYO (CATHOLIC YOUTH
ORGANIZATION) CAMP IN PORT SANILLAC, MICHIGAN.
THIS STORY IS GENERALLY TOLD AROUND THE CAMP FIRE.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; Port Sanilac

Date learned: 00-00-1975

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THUMP-DRAG

A STAFF MEMBER WAS PUTTING AWAY SUPPLIES IN THE STORAGE ROOM AND A
BOTTLE OF ACID FELL OFF THE TOP SHELF ONTO HIS FACE AND HE FELL
AND BROKE HIS LEG. HE RAN AS WELL AS HE COULD TO THE LAKE TO RELIEVE
THE PAIN. HE ALWAYS SWORE HE WOULD GET REVENGE ON THE CAMP EVEN
THOUGH IT WASN'T THE CAMP'S
FAULT. EVER SINCE THAT INCIDENT HAPPENED
THERE HAS BEEN ONE VICTIM TAKEN AWAY EVERY SEVEN YEARS. WE FIGURED
OUT THAT THE REASON WHY IT WAS EVERY SEVEN YEARS WAS BECAUSE IT WAS
HIS SEVENTH YEAR AS A CAMP MAINTENANCE MAN WHEN IT HAPPENED. NO ONE
KNOWS WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM AFTER HE GOT HURT. HIS VICTIMS ARE
USUALLY TAKEN FROM THE JUNIOR UNIT CABINS AND THE CAMPERS IN THE
WOODS CABINS CAN HEAR THE THUMP-DRAG (BECAUSE HE HAD TO HAVE HIS
LEG AMPUTATED) WHEN HE COMES BACK BUT NO ONE CAN EVER CATCH HIM. SO
IF YOU HEAR THE THUMP-DRAG LET US KNOW BECAUSE THIS IS THE SEVENTH
YEAR.

Submitter comment: THIS STORY IS TOLD TO CAMPERS AT CYO (CATHOLIC YOUTH
ORGANIZATION) CAMP IN PORT SANILLAC, MICHIGAN.
THIS STORY IS TOLD TO THE OLDER CAMPERS BECAUSE THEY LIKE TO HEAR
SCARY STORIES RIGHT BEFORE GOING TO BED. IT HAS BEEN A CAMP CUSTOM
TO DO SO. FRIENDS OF MINE WHO WERE CAMPERS THAT WERE ALSO CAMP
COUNSELORS HEARD VARIATIONS OF THIS STORY WHEN THEY WERE CAMPERS.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; Port Sanilac

Date learned: 00-00-1975

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CHILDREN'S CAMP SONG

WHO DO YOU THINK, WHO DO YOU THINK
WHO DO YOU THINK THAT WE ARE
WE COME FROM AFAR
FROM THE LAND OF THE CZAR
WHO DO YOU THINK, WHO DO YOU THINK
WHO DO YOU THINK WE MAY BE
WE'RE THE RUSSIAN, RUSSIAN, RUSSIAN,
RUSSIAN, RUSSIAN CAVALRY
HEY, JERRY POLOSKI, THE RUSSIAN DIPLOMATSKY
HE PUT A NICKEL IN THE SLOT TO OVERTHROW THE CZAR
HEY, MOTION COMMOTION, I SORTA GOT A NOTION
TO PUT A NICKEL IN THE SLOT TO OVERTHROW THE CZAR
HEY, IS DIS NOT THE RUSSIAN FRONT?
YES DIS IS THE RUSSIAN FRONT
IS DIS NOT THE GERMAN REAR?
YES DIS IS THE GERMAN REAR
RUSSIAN FRONT, GERMAN REAR
GET ZE HECK OUT OF HERE
AU DUSHENA, AU DUSHENA
AW, THE HECK WITH IT.

Submitter comment: THIS SONG IS SUNG AT CYO (CATHOLIC YOUTH ORGANIZATION) CAMPS.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; Port Sanilac

Date learned: 06-00-1975

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CHILDREN'S CAMP SONG

JOHN JACOB JINGLEHEIMER SCHMIDT
THAT'S MY NAME TOO
WHENEVER WE GO OUT
THE PEOPLE ALWAYS SHOUT
JOHN JACOB JINGLEHEIMER SCHMIDT.
DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA
WHENEVER WE GO IN, THE HAPPY PEOPLE GRIN

Submitter comment: KEEP SINGING UNTIL TIRED, DISGUSTED OR BOTH.
THIS SONG IS SUNG AT CYO (CATHOLIC YOUTH ORGANIZATION) CAMPS.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; Port Sanilac

Date learned: 06-00-1975

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CHILDREN'S CAMP SONG

CHORUS:
BOOM, BOOM AIN'T IT GREAT TO BE CRAZY
BOOM, BOOM AIN'T IT GREAT TO BE CRAZY
SILLY AND FOOLISH ALL DAY LONG
BOOM, BOOM AIN'T IT GREAT TO BE CRAZY
VERSES:
A HORSE AND A FLEA AND THREE BLIND MICE
SAT ON A TOMBSTONE SHOOTING DICE
THE HORSE HE SLIPPED AND FELL ON THE FLEA
AND THE FLEA SAID "WHOOPSIE THERE'S A HORSIE ON ME"
WAY UP NORTH IN THE ICE AND SNOW
THERE LIVED A PENGUIN BY THE NAME OF JOE
HE GOT SO TIRED OF BLACK AND WHITE
THAT HE WORE PINK SOCKS TO THE DANCE LAST NIGHT
WAY DOWN SOUTH WHERE BANANAS GROW
A MONKEY STEPPED ON AN ELEPHANT'S TOE
THE ELEPHANT SAID WITH A TEAR IN HIS EYE
"WHY DON'T YOU PICK ON SOMEBODY YOUR OWN SIZE"
ONE AFTERNOON IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
TWO DEAD BOYS BEGAN TO FIGHT
A DEAF POLICEMAN HEARD THE NOISE
AND HE BEAT THE LIFE OUT OF TWO DEAD BOYS

Submitter comment: THIS SONG IS SUNG AT CYO (CATHOLIC YOUTH ORGANIZATION) CAMPS.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; Port Sanilac

Date learned: 06-00-1975

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