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WITCH TALE

"MY MOTHER TOLD ME THAT ONE TIME A TURTLE WAS EATING ALL THE SOUR
CREAM AND EACH DAY IT WAS DISAPPEARING AND THEY COULDN'T FIND OUT
WHERE IT WAS GOING. SO ONE DAY THEY GOT CLOSE ENOUGH TO FIND WHAT
WAS GETTING AT THE CREAM. THEY SAW IT WAS A TURTLE. SO THEY BEAT
IT WITH A WIDE SHOVEL. SO THEY DISCOVERED IN THIS TURTLE WAS AN
OLD LADY. SO HOW THEY FOUND OUT IT WAS AN OLD LADY, THEY SAW HER
WALKING DOWN THE STREET THE NEXT DAY CRIPPLED UP WITH A BACK ACHE.
SO WHEN SHE TOLD SHE WAS BEAT WITH A SHOVEL. SO SHE NEVER STOLE NO
MORE SOUR CREAM."

Submitter comment: THE MOTHER OF THE INFORMANT WAS BORN IN HUNGARY AND RAISED IN EUROPE
SHE CAME TO THE UNITED STATES AND LIVED ON A FARM IN SCRANTON, PENN.
WITH HER HUSBAND AND FAMILY.

Where learned: LOCATION NOT RECORDED BY COLLECTOR ; TOLD AT INFORMANTS HOME

Keyword(s): ANIMALS

James Callow Keyword(s): PENNSYLVANIA

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Witch Shaman

Date learned: 11-10-1970

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PROVERB

IF YOU DANCE, YOU HAVE TO PAY THE FIDDLER.

Submitter comment: NONE

Data entry tech comment: YOU CAN'T GET ANYTHING FOR FREE, SO YOU PAY FOR EVERYTHING.

Where learned: HOME ; DETROIT ; TOLD AT

Keyword(s): COMPENSATION ; OBSERVATION

Subject headings: PROVERB -- Proverbial Metaphor

Date learned: 02-20-1970

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THE HARE THAT RAN AWAY

THIS ANCIENT STORY IS ONE OF A SERIES ABOUT THE WISE
BUDDHA IN HIS SUCCESSIVE ANIMAL INCARNATIONS. THE
STORY MAY BEGIN WITHOUT REFERENCE TO BUDDHA:
ONCE THERE WAS A WISE LION WHO DID MUCH TO HELP
HIS FELLOW CREATURES AND HE FOUND THERE WAS MUCH TO
BE DONE. FOR INSTANCE, THERE WAS A LITTLE NERVOUS
HARE...."

Submitter comment: AN OLD EAST INDIAN FOLKTALE ABOUT A HARE THAT THOUGHT
THE SKY WAS FALLING DOWN, BECAUSE A PIECE OF FRUIT
HIT HIM ON THE HEAD. HE CAUSED COMMOTION AMONG
ALL THE ANIMALS AND THEY BEGAN TO BELIEVE THAT THE
SKY WAS FALLING, TOO. A LION CONVINCED HIM HE WAS
WRONG BY SHOWING THE HARE HOW IT REALLY HAPPENED.
THEN EVERYTHING IN THE WOODS RETURNED BACK TO
NORMAL.

Where learned: HOME

James Callow Keyword(s): HENNY-PENNY CHILDREN'S STORY.

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Animal Tale

Date learned: 10-22-1972

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Entry filtered.

THIS GUY WAS OUT ON A HUNTING TRIP, WHEN SUDDENLY HE
FELT THAT NATURE MUST TAKE ITS COURSE. HE DUCKED BEHIND
A TREE AND PROCEEDED TO RELIEVE HIS KIDNEYS. THERE WAS
ANOTHER HUNTER ABOUT FIFTY YARDS AWAY WHO SAW THE BUSHES
MOVE AND, THINKING IT WAS A DEER, LET HIM HAVE IT WITH
BOTH BARRELS OF A 12 GAUGE SHOTFGUN. HE GOT HIM RIGHT IN
THE PECKER. THE GUY LET OUT A SCREAM AND, NOT KNOWING
WHAT TO DO, WRAPPED IT UP IN A HANDERCHIEF AND RAN TO
THE NEAREST DOCTOR. HE CAME IN AND SAYS, "DOC, I'VE GOT
A PROBLEM." THE DOC SAYS, "WE'VE ALL GOT PROBLEMS SON."
THEN HE SAYS, "NO, NO, YOU'VE GOT TO SEE THIS." THEN HE
PULLED DOWN HIS PANTS. THE DOCTOR SAYS, "GRACIOUS,"
AND SCRATCHED HIS HEAD. THE FELLOW SAYS, "WHAT CAN YOU
DO FOR ME, DOC?" SO THE DOCTOR PULLED OUT A CARD AND
WROTE DOWN A NAME AND ADDRESS. THE GUY SAYS, "WHO'S
THIS, A SPECIALIST?" THE DOCTOR SAYS, "NO, HE'S MY
BROTHER, A CLARINET PLAYER. HE CAN TEACH YOU HOW TO
FINGER IT SO THAT YOU DON'T PISS ALL OVER YOURSELF."

Where learned: NOT GIVEN

James Callow Keyword(s): PENIS ; URINATE

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Man
Filter - Mature Content

Date learned: 05-22-1965

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A YOUNG MAN, WITH A CONSIDERABLE NUMBER OF FRIENDS WHO
LOVED JOKING AROUND, WAS TO GET MARRIED. HIS FRIENDS
THREW HIM A STAG PARTY THE NIGHT BEFORE THE BIG EVENT.
AT THIS PARTY, THEY SUCCEEDED IN GETTING THE GUY
COMPLETELY DRUNK, SO THAT HE PASSED OUT. NOW, ONE
OF THE GUYS AT THE PARTY WAS A MEDICAL STUDENT AND HE
CAME UP WITH THE IDEA FOR THE BEST JOKE OF ALL TIME.
HE WENT TO HIS CAR AND GOT HIS EQUIPMENT FOR MAKING
PLASTER CASTS. THEN HE AND THE REST OF THE PARTY WENT
TO WORK. WHEN THEY FINISHED, THE POOR FELLOW WAS IN
A COMPLETE CAST FROM THE SHOULDERS DOWN. THE ONLY PART
LEFT WITHOUT THE PLASTER CAST, WAS HIS COCK, WHICH WAS
LEFT DANGLING OUT. HIS FRIENDS THEN CARRIED THE STATUE
OVER TO HIS GIRLS HOUSE AND PROPPED HIM UP ON THE PORCH,
FACING THE DOOR. THEY THEN RANG THE DOORBELL AND TOOK
OFF. WHEN THE GIRL CAME TO THE DOOR, ALL HELL BROKE
LOOSE. NOBODY KNOWS WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED AFTER THAT,
BUT IT TOOK THREE MONTHS BEFORE THE WEDDING ACTUALLY
TOOK PLACE.

Submitter comment:

I HEARD THIS LITTLE ANECDOTE AT A STAG PARTY FOR ONE OF
MY FRATERNITY BROTHERS AND IT WAS RELATED TO ME AS
BEING FACTUAL.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): PENIS

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote

Date learned: 05-22-1965

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Entry filtered.

THE OLD MIDWIFE

DOWN IN KENTUCKY A LONG TIME AGO, THEY USED TO HAVE
MIDWIVES AND MID-MEN TO HELP DELIVER BABIES. WELL, THIS
ONE WOMAN WAS HAVIN' TROUBLE, SO SHE NEEDED SOME HELP.
WHAT THESE MID-MEN AND WOMEN WOULD DO WAS, THE MAN
WOULD SIT ON A CHAIR, THE PREGNANT WOMAN WOULD LAY ON
HIS LAP, AND THE MIDWIFE WOULD HELP THE BABY COME OUT.
LIKE I SAID, THIS ONE PREGNANT WOMAN WAS HAVIN'
TROUBLE. THE BABY JUST WOULDN'T COME; SO SHE LAID ON
THE MAN'S LAP. THE MIDWIFE STARTED TO FEEL AROUND BETWEEN
THE WOMAN'S LEGS. PRETTY SOON, THE MAN STARTED YELLIN'
"WOMAN, YOU BETTER LET GO." THE OLD MIDWIFE SAID, "I
THINK IT'S COMIN', I CAN FEEL SOMETHING." THE OLD MAN
SAID AGAIN, "WOOOMAAN, YOU'D BETTER LEGGO." BUT SHE KEPT
RIGHT ON FEELING AROUND. ALL THIS TIME THE WOMAN HAVING
THE BABY WAS YELLIN' "OOOOOWWWW!" "FOR GOD'S SAKE,
WOMAN, LEGGO!" SAID THE MAN. THE MIDWIFE ALL OF A
SUDDEN SAYS, "I'VE GOT (IT) NOW, AND I THINK IT'S A BOY,
'CAUSE I CAN FEEL ITS HEAD!" THE OLD MAN SAID, "YOU'D
BETTER LEGGO RIGHT NOW, 'CAUSE THAT AIN'T NO HEAD OF NO
BABY YOU GOT. YOU'D BETTER LEGGO, CAUSE YOU GOT A
HOLD OF MY COCK!!"

Submitter comment: THE INFORMANT HEARD THIS STORY IN A "BEER GARDEN" IN
SALYERSVILLE, KENTUCKY.

Where learned: KENTUCKY ; SALYERSVILLE

James Callow Keyword(s): PENIS

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote
Filter - Mature Content

Date learned: 04-19-1965

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UNDER EACH CLOUD IS A SILVER LINING.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): CELESTIAL BRIGHTNESS ; UNDISCLOSED MERIT

James Callow Keyword(s): COMPENSATION ; CONTRAST

Subject headings: PROVERB -- Proverbial Metaphor

Date learned: 11-19-1968

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BLOODY BONES

THERE WAS THIS LITTLE BOY AND HIS MOTHER SENT HIM TO
THE STORE TO GET SOME LIVER. BUT INSTEAD THE LITTLE
BOY BOUGHT CANDY. ON HIS WAY HOME HE PASSED A GRAVEYARD
AND DECIDED TO GO DIG UP A LIVER TO TAKE HOME. HE CAME
TO A HEADSTONE WITH THE NAME BLOODY BONES ON IT AND BEGAN
TO DIG. AT DINNER, EVERYONE RAVED ABOUT HOW GOOD THE
LIVER WAS. AFTER DINNER EVERYONE WENT TO BED, BUT WHILE
THE BOY WAS SLEEPING HE HEARD A VOICE. THE VOICE SAID,
"BLOODY BONES GONNA GET YA TONIGHT. BLOODY BONES IN
YOUR CLOSET TONIGHT." FRIGHTENED, THE BOY RAN INTO THE
KITCHEN, BUT THE VOICE FOLLOWED AND SAID, "BLOODY BONES
GONNA GET YA TONIGHT. BLOODY BONES IN THE KITCHEN TONIGHT."
HE TRIED TO ESCAPE BY GOING INTO HIS PARENTS' ROOM BUT
BLOODY BONES FOLLOWED HIM. FINALLY, BLOODY BONES KILLED
HIM AND TOOK HIS LIVER.

Submitter comment: THE STORY WAS TOLD TO THE INFORMANT TO FRIGHTEN HER INTO
OBEYING. IF SHE DID SOMETHING WRONG HER GRANDFATHER
WOULD SAY, "BLOODY DONES GONNA GET YA!"

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): COMPENSATION AND POETIC JUSTICE ; FUNCTION

Subject headings: Favorites
PROSE NARRATIVE -- Tale

Date learned: 04-00-1983

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A MAN HAD TWO SONS WHO VISITED THE DOCTOR BEFORE THEY
GOT MARRIED. THE DOCTOR EXAMINED BOTH SONS AND WROTE
S.P. ON ONE CHART AND S.P.P. ON THE OTHER. THE FIRST
SON MARRIED AND HAD SEVERAL CHILDREN. THE SECOND SON
HAD NO CHILDREN AFTER YEARS OF MARRIAGE. SO THE FATHER
CONSULTED THE DOCTOR AND ASKED HIM WHY. THE DOCTOR
EXPLAINED THAT S.P. MEANT SEMPRE PRONTI, IN ITALIAN
ALWAYS READY, WHILE S.P.P. MEANT SOLO PER PERSHARI 0R
ONLY FOR URINATING.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): PENIS

Subject headings: PROSE NARRATIVE -- Jest Anecdote

Date learned: 00-00-1983

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AS SOON AS A PERSON IS DEAD, YOU SOULD STOP ALL THE CLOCKS IN THE
HOUSE AND COVER THEM; TURN OR COVER ALL MIRRORS; LIGHT A CANDLE
NEXT TO THE BED; PUT SOME BLESSED WATER AND A BRANCH OF "TAMARIN"
NEXT TO THE BODY; PUT A BUCKET OF WATER IN THE ROOM SO THAT THE
SOUL OF THE DEFUNCT COULD WASH ITSELF.

Where learned: GUADELOUPE

Keyword(s): TAMARIN IS A VERY COMMON TREE IN GUADELOUPE. IT GIVES SOME FRUITS ; THAT ARE EITHER SWEET OR SOUR DEPENDING ON THE TREE.

Subject headings: BELIEF -- Plant
BELIEF -- Death Funeral Burial

Date learned: 00-00-1980

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Entry filtered.

RIDDLE

WHAT DO YOU CALL IT WHEN YOU HAVE YOUR TONSILS REMOVED?
A TONSILECTOMY.
WHAT DO YOU CALL IT WHEN YOU HAVE YOUR APPENDIX REMOVED?
AN APPENDECTOMY.
WHAT DO YOU CALL IT WHEN A WOMAN WANTS HER SEX CHANGED?
ADD-A-DICK-TO-ME.

Submitter comment: I WAS SHOCKED BECAUSE I DIDN'T EXPECT SUCH AN ANSWER.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): ANATOMY

James Callow Keyword(s): SLANG: DICK FOR PENIS

Subject headings: RIDDLE -- Riddle Question
Filter - Mature Content

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MY MOTHER TOLD ME THAT IF YOU SING AT THE DINNER TABLE,
YOU WILL CRY BEFORE YOU GO TO BED.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): COMPENSATION ; CONTRAST

Subject headings: BELIEF -- Product or activity of man or animal
BELIEF -- Measure of time Eating For menu, see N222.
BELIEF -- Measure of time Sleeping

Date learned: 00-00-1954

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MY MOTHER ALWAYS TELLS ME THAT TO BE TOO HAPPY
MEANS THAT SOMETHING BAD WILL HAPPEN TO YOU TO
BALANCE THE MEASURE. SO IF THINGS ARE GOING RIGHT,
COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS, BUT DON'T BE TOO VOCAL, OR
SOMETHING BAD IS SURE TO OCCUR!!!

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; Sterling Heights

James Callow Keyword(s): COMPENSATION CYCLICAL THINKING

Subject headings: BELIEF -- Fate Destiny Luck Chance

Date learned: 09-00-1985

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IF YOU DREAM THAT A MEMBER OF YOUR FAMILY IS DYING THEN SOMEONE IN
YOUR FAMILY IS PREGNANT.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): COMPENSATION ; OPPOSITES

Subject headings: BELIEF -- Birth
BELIEF -- Death Funeral Burial
BELIEF -- Dreams

Date learned: 00-00-1965 ; 10-20-1987

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In order to the determine the sex of an unborn child
tie a needle to a thread and hold it over the stomach
of the woman. If you are very still, the needle will
begin to swing. If it goes in a circular motion, the
child will be a girl. If it goes in a straight line,
then it will be a boy.

Submitter comment: Elaine says that her father never misses with this
technique, and that he has used it to determine the
sex of chicks while still in the egg. The only time
that they thought he might not be accurate in his
prediction was when his daughter-in-law was pregnant,
and the needle swung both ways. Later the daughter-in-
law gave birth to twins -- a boy and a girl. Elaine
believes that not everyone is capable of using this
method; that you must have a special talent for it.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DEARBORN

Keyword(s): pendulum, forecasting, anapel

Subject headings: BELIEF -- Use of Object
BELIEF -- Use of object for determining number of children or sex of unborn

Date learned: 00001940S

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CONGESTION CURE 2

PIZZLE GREASE, WHICH IS MADE FROM THE MALE ORGANS OF A
HOG COOKED DOWN INTO GREASE AND THEN THE ORGANS STRAINED
FROM THE GREASE, WAS BOTTLED AND SOLD AS A CURE FOR A BAD
COLD AND PNEUMONIA.

Where learned: TENNESSEE ; MARTIN

James Callow Keyword(s): PIZZLE=ANIMAL PENIS

Subject headings: BELIEF -- Remedy
BELIEF -- Animal

Date learned: 00001940CA

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EVIL EYE

IF YOU BRAG ABOUT A CHILD, OR YOUR WIFE, OR ABOUT ANYTHING, THE
EVIL EYE WILL TAKE IT AWAY. TO AVOID THIS, WHENEVER BRAGGING
YOU SHOULD END THE ADULATION WITH A CRITICAL COMMENT.

Submitter comment: AS AN EXAMPLE, INSTEAD OF SAYING, "MY SON IS SO PERFECT. HE
ALWAYS GETS GOOD MARKS IN SCHOOL." A CAUTIOUS PERSON WOULD SAY,
"MY SON IS SO PERFECT. HE ALWAYS GETS GOOD MARKS IN SCHOOL, BUT
HE NEVER CLEANS HIS ROOM."

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; WEST BLOOMFIELD

Keyword(s): ADVICE ; COMPENSATION

Subject headings: BELIEF -- Product or activity of man or animal
BELIEF -- Curse

Date learned: 09-12-1990

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Recipe for Homos
3 cups mashed chick peas
1 cup sesame oil (tehine)
1 teaspoon salt
crushed garlic clove
crushed hot pepper (jalepeno)
1/4 cup lemon juice
Mix chick peas and sesame oil together with salt
and mix last three items together. Pour chick pea
mixture on plate and spread flat. Then pour lemon
sauce on top. You can put olive oil on top also.
Then eat with bread.

James Callow Keyword(s): jalapeno ; tahini

Subject headings: Food Drink -- Plant food Vegetable

Date learned: 00001960S

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If it rains on the day of a funeral, it is felt to be a sign
that the dead person lived a life filled with love and laughter.

Submitter comment: This was said at the funeral of my aunt, whose life was truly
filled with love and laughter.

Where learned: OHIO ; TORONTO

Keyword(s): COMPENSATION

James Callow Keyword(s): CONTRAST

Subject headings: CUSTOM FESTIVAL -- Death Funeral Burial
BELIEF -- Cloud Fog Mist Rain Hail Ice Snow Frost Dew

Date learned: 00-00-1989

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MYSTERY SPOT-GRAVITY

THIS IS A PARK AT ST. IGNACE, MICHIGAN, IN THE U.P. WHERE, BECAUSE OF A GHOST HAUNTING IT, THE GRAVITY IS EXTRA-STRONG, AND YOU CAN STAND ON THE WALL OF A CABIN AND NOT FALL BECAUSE OF THIS
GRAVITATIONAL FORCE.

Data entry tech comment:

"U.P." IS MICHIGAN'S UPPER PENINSULA

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT ; informant's home

James Callow Keyword(s): ANTI-GRAVITY ; UPPER PENINSULA = U.P.

Subject headings: BELIEF -- Creation and Order of Universe
BELIEF -- Ghost Spirit Phantom Specter
BELIEF -- Earth
BELIEF -- Product or activity of man or animal P477.13

Date learned: 03-08-1970

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