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The James T. Callow Folklore Archive

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Retort

Unwanted Singer:

If someone is singing (person B) and someone else (person A) wants to shut him up or put him down:

A) What did you do with the money?

B) What money?

A) The money your mother gave you to take music lessons!

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

Keyword(s): COMEBACK ; INSULT ; Lessons ; MONEY ; MUSIC ; RETORT ; SARCASM ; SINGING ; Wisecrack

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

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Retort

Put an egg in your shoe and beat it!

Submitter comment:

Spoken after a twenty minute argument with his cousin.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

James Callow comment:

Original BN [C730.329] crossed out. Replaced with current classification.

Where learned: BOSTON ; Massachusetts

Keyword(s): COMEBACK ; INSULT ; RETORT ; SARCASM ; Wisecrack

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

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Retort

Sneezing:

If you don't say "God Bless You" everytime someone sneezes, they can have bad luck becasue some of their good fortune escaped when they sneezed.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

James Callow comment:

Original BN [B477] crossed out. Replaced wtih current classification.

[Something DONE, not said or written]

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): Bless ; COMEBACK ; CUSTOM ; God ; Response ; RETORT ; SNEEZE ; Wisecrack

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

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Retort

Q: You got a Match?

R: Not since Superman Died.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

Keyword(s): COMEBACK ; RETORT ; Wisecrack

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

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Retort

I don't know where Mom is, but we've got Pop on ice!

Submitter comment:

My father used to say this to me when I was small and would ask him where my mother was!

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

James Callow comment:

Original BN [C532] crossed out. Replaced with current classification.

Where learned: HOME

Keyword(s): COMEBACK ; Ice ; INSULT ; Mom ; POP ; PUN ; RETORT ; SARCASM ; SLANG ; Wisecrack

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

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Retort

When someone asks the time, reply:

"Half past kissing time, time to kiss again."

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

James Callow comment:

Small grammatical correction on card.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): COMEBACK ; DATING ; KISS ; KISSING ; RETORT ; SARCASM ; TIME ; Wisecrack

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

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Retort

When someone burps, reply to him:

"Excuse the hog, the pig just left."

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): Burp ; COMEBACK ; Hog ; INSULT ; MANNERS ; Pig ; RETORT ; SARCASM ; Wisecrack

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

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Retort

That'll be a cold day in hell.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

James Callow comment:

The word retort is circled, and the question [To What?] is written next to it.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): Cold ; COMEBACK ; HELL ; INSULT ; RETORT ; SARCASM ; TEMPERATURE ; Wisecrack

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

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Retort

Sock it to me.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

James Callow comment:

The word Retort is circled, with the question [To What?] written next to it.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): COMEBACK ; INSULT ; RETORT ; SARCASM ; Wisecrack

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

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Retort

In the Marines, when you are asked your weight, you say:

"I'm (insert weight) pounds of hell, death and destruction."

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

James Callow comment:

The original Title [Expression of Fixed Form] has been crossed out. Replaced with Retort.

Original BN [P640] has been crosssed out. Replaced with current classification.

Where learned: OHIO ; NORTH OLMSTED

Keyword(s): COMEBACK ; Fighter ; INSULT ; Marines ; MILITARY ; RETORT ; SARCASM ; Soldier ; WEIGHT ; Wisecrack

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

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Retort

I wouldn't touch that line with a ten foot pole.

Submitter comment:

Paul is famous for saying this - If somebody would slip and say something innapropriate to the time and location or if a double meaning could be attached to something said whereby he wants people to take it the wrong way.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

James Callow comment:

A large questionmark is written next to the Collector's comment.

The word [Retort??] is written above the word Untouchable  in the Title section.

The original BN [C329] crossed out. Replaced wtih current classification.

Where learned: OHIO ; Norwalk

Keyword(s): COMEBACK ; DISTANCE ; INSULT ; Pole ; RETORT ; SARCASM ; Wisecrack

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

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Retort

If six turned out to be nine, then I don't mind.

Submitter comment:

Said in reply to ridiculous questions.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

James Callow comment:

The question [When Said?] is written next to the collector's comment.

Keyword(s): COMEBACK ; Nine ; NUMBERS ; RETORT ; RHYME ; SARCASM ; Six ; Wisecrack ; Wit

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

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Retort

You can't be two-faced. If you were two-faced, you certainly wouldn't be wearing the one you've got on.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

James Callow comment:

The question [To What?] is written next to the title.

Keyword(s): COMEBACK ; Duplicitous ; INSULT ; RETORT ; SARCASM ; Wisecrack

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

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Retort

Ridicule:

You said it, Cabbage, you've got the head for it.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

James Callow comment:

[A Retort? To What? ] is written across the top of the card.

Original BN [B662] crossed out. Replaced with current classification.

Keyword(s): Cabbage ; COMEBACK ; HEAD ; INSULT ; RETORT ; SARCASM ; Wisecrack

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

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Retort

Did your mother have any children that lived?

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

James Callow comment:

[To What?] is written next tot he title.

Keyword(s): CHILDREN ; COMEBACK ; INSULT ; MOTHER ; RETORT ; SARCASM ; Wisecrack

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

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Retort

You're about as funny as a cigarette in a Cancer ward.

Submitter comment:

From his brother, Joe. From his friend, Brian Battersby.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

Where learned: HOME

Keyword(s): Cancer ; Cigarette ; COMEBACK ; HOSPITAL ; INSULT ; RETORT ; SARCASM ; Wisecrack

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

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Retort

You look like you have to study to qualify as a dropout.

Submitter comment:

From his brother, Joe.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

Where learned: HOME

Keyword(s): COMEBACK ; Dropout ; Graduate ; INSULT ; RETORT ; SARCASM ; SCHOOL ; Study ; Wisecrack

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

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Retort

What's wrong? Does your face hurt? It's killing me.

Submitter comment:

From his brother, Joe.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

Where learned: HOME

Keyword(s): COMEBACK ; FACE ; Hurt ; INSULT ; Kill ; RETORT ; SARCASM ; Wisecrack

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

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Retort

You're so skinny, you can dodge raindrops.

Submitter comment:

From his brother, Joe.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

Where learned: HOME

Keyword(s): COMEBACK ; INSULT ; Raindrops ; RETORT ; SARCASM ; SIZE ; Skinny ; Wisecrack

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

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Retort

You're so fat, you need a periscope to see the ground.

Submitter comment:

from his brother, Joe.

Data entry tech comment:

Motifs added by TRD

Where learned: HOME

Keyword(s): COMEBACK ; INSULT ; RETORT ; SARCASM ; Wisecrack

Subject headings: SPEECH -- Formula

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