The James T. Callow Folklore Archive

O ALMIGHTY DOLLAR, THY SHINING FACE
THAT SPEAKS THY MIGHTY POWER
IN MY POCKET, FIND A RESTING PLACE,
FOR I NEED THEE EVERY HOUR.
AMEN.

Where learned: SCHOOL ; DETROIT ; MICHIGAN, ASSUMED

Keyword(s): APOSTROPHE MONOLOGUE QUATRAIN ; INDIRECTION SATIRE MONEY ; METER: IAMBIC, ANAPESTIC ; MOCK-PIOUS ; RHYME: MASCULINE, IMPERFECT, ABAB

Date learned: NOT GIVEN

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SEE MY FINGER, SEE MY THUMB,
SEE MY FIST, YOU BETTER RUN.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): BULLY ; DIALECT ; ELLIPSIS, SURPRISE ENDING ; METER: ANAPESTIC ; MONOLOGUE UNDERSTATEMENT FIGHTING ; RHYME: MASCULINE ; THREAT

Date learned: NOT GIVEN

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SCARE

SEE MY FINGER, SEE MY THUMB,
SEE MY FIST, YOU BETTER RUN.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; GROSSE POINTE WOODS

Keyword(s): BULLY ; ELLIPSIS, SURPRISE ENDING ; METER: ANAPESTIC ; MONOLOGUE UNDERSTATEMENT DIALECT FIGHTING ; RHYME: MASCULINE ; THREAT

Date learned: NOT GIVEN

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SITTIN' BY THE ROADSIDE ON A SUMMER DAY,
CHATTING WITH MY MESS MATES, PASSING TIME AWAY,
LAYING IN THE SHADOW UNDERNEATH THE TREE,
GOODNESS, HOW DELICIOUS EATING GOOBER PEAS!

CHORUS: PEAS, PEAS, PEAS, PEAS,
GOODNESS HOW DELICIOUS EATING GOOBERPEAS!

Submitter comment: INFORMANT RECITED IT.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): FOOD ; FOOD, EATING ; GOOBERS=PEANUTS ; IT MAY ALSO BE SUNG. ; METER: IAMBIC, ANAPESTIC ; RHYME: AABB

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THE GRASS IS RIZ,
WHERE LAST YEAR'S
CARELESS DRIVER IS.

Submitter comment: WRITTEN IN PARISH BULLETIN.

James Callow comment: RDNeedsReview

Where learned: MICHIGAN

Keyword(s): ADVICE ; DEATH ; DRIVING ; METER: IAMBIC ; MONOLOGUE SLANG, DIALECT ; PUN ; RHYME: MASCULINE, ABCB

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TRUE FRIENDS ARE LIKE DIAMONDS--
PRECIOUS AND RARE.
FALSE ONES ARE LIKE LEAVES--
FOUND EVERYWHERE.

Submitter comment: THIS USED TO BE ONE OF MY PEN PALS (1957). THIS WAS
ONE OF HER CLEVER SAYINGS.

Data entry tech comment: OFTEN FOUND IN AUTOGRAPH BOOKS.

Where learned: Wyoming ; ROCK SPRINGS

Keyword(s): FRIENDSHIP JEWELS ; METER: TROCHAIC ; QUATRAIN FUNCTION AUTOGRAPH VERSE ; RHYME: MASCULINE, ABCB

James Callow Keyword(s): AUTUMN LEAVES SCATTERED EVERYWHERE--AMA BARR

Date learned: NOT GIVEN

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TWO'S A COUPLE,
THREE'S A CROWD,
FOUR ON THE SIDEWALK,
IS NEVER ALLOWED.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): METER: TROCHAIC ; REFRAIN NUMBERS ; RHYME: MASCULINE, ABCB ; VARIATION: FOUR'S TOO MANY, FIVE'S NOT ALLOWED.

Date learned: NOT GIVEN

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CHEER

UMBA SASSA, UMBA SASSA,
HIT 'EM IN DA HEAD WITH A BIG KILBASA.

Submitter comment: INFORMANT USED IN POLISH HIGH SCHOOL.

Data entry tech comment: KIELBASA=POLISH SAUSAGE

Where learned: ILLINOIS ; CHICAGO

Keyword(s): DIALECT, SLANG THREAT FOOD ; METER: TROCHAIC ; RHYME: FEMININE

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WE DON'T HAVE OUR BACKHOUSE ANYMORE,
THINGS ARE MIGHTY DIFFERENT THAN BEFORE.
ONCE I HAD TO GO IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT,
I WAS SUCH A LITTLE FELLOW, I DIDN'T FIT RIGHT.
I TIPPED THE DARN THING OVER AND GOD! WAS I A SIGHT!
WE DON'T HAVE OUR BACKHOUSE ANYMORE.

Submitter comment: MY DAD OFTEN RECITED THE FOLLOWING NURSERY RHYME TO
MY SISTERS AND ME WHEN WE WERE SAD. IT ALWAYS BROUGHT
A SMILE.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): ACCIDENT TOILET ; BACKHOUSE=PRIVY OUTHOUSE ; REPETITION SLANG HUMOR ; RHYME: MASCULINE, AABBBA ; UNDERSTATEMENT OBSERVATION

Date learned: NOT GIVEN

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WE MUST, WE MUST,
WE MUST IMPROVE THE BUST.
THE BIGGER THE BETTER,
THE TIGHTER THE SWEATER,
WE MUST IMPROVE THE BUST.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): ANATOMY ; BOSOM BREAST ; FUNCTION GROWING UP ; MONOLOGUE SLANG DIALECT ; REFRAIN, QUATRAIN? ; RHYME: FEMININE, INTERNAL ; RHYME: IMPERFECT, AABBA

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WHEN I'M DEAD AND IN MY GRAVE,
NO MORE WHISKEY SHALL I CRAVE,
FOR ON MY TOMBSTONE SHALL BE WROTE,
MANY A QUART'S WENT DOWN MY THROAT.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; GARDEN CITY

Keyword(s): DRINKING ; METER: ANAPESTIC DIMETER ; MONOLOGUE QUATRAIN EPITAPH EUPHEMISM ; POOR GRAMMAR ; RHYME: MASCULINE, AABB

Date learned: NOT GIVEN

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WHEN YOU ARE OLD AND ABOUT TO DIE,
CALL ME UP SO I CAN CRY.
(TELEPHONE NUMBER).

Where learned: SCHOOL ; MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): ANTICLIMAX IRONY COUPLET ; AUTOGRAPH VERSE? ; METER: ANAPESTIC ; PREPARATION FOR DEATH OLD AGE FRIENDSHIP ; RHYME: MASCULINE

Date learned: NOT GIVEN

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YOU SCREAM, I SCREAM,
WE ALL SCREAM FOR ICE CREAM.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): METER: IAMBIC ANAPESTIC ; REPETITION FOOD REFRAIN CACOGRAPHY ; RHYME: MASCULINE

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FLOWERS MAY WITHER,
SONGS MAY DIE,
SOME WILL FORGET YOU,
BUT NEVER WILL I...

Where learned: LOUISIANA ; BATON ROUGE

Keyword(s): AUTOGRAPH VERSE? ; RHYME: MASCULINE, ABCB ; SINCERITY INDIRECTION PLEDGE FRIENDSHIP

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THE MAIDEN

THERE ONCE WAS A MAIDEN SO FAIR,
HER BRIGHT BLUE EYES AND GOLDEN HAIR;
BUT HER LIFE WAS RUINED BY A TWIST OF FATE,
THE STORY'S AWFUL, I'M SAD TO RELATE.
YES, THE TALE IS TRUE, FOR I WOULD NOT LIE,
I HEARD IT ONE NIGHT WHILE I WAS STILL HIGH;
I HAVE WRITTEN IT JUST AS SHE TOLD IT TO ME,
AND THE PAIN HAS MADE ME SICK AS CAN BE.
"I LEFT HIM FLAT; FOR HE TREATED ME CRUEL;
FOR NOW I SEE THAT I WAS A FOOL,
HE'S UGLY AND DIRTY AND SMELLS LIKE A HORSE,
AND THAT'S WHY I DECIDED TO GET A DIVORCE."
"I WAS JUST TWENTY WHEN THE MESS DID START,
HE SAID HE WOULD LOVE ME TILL DEATH DO US PART;
LITTLE DID I KNOW THAT THE DAY WOULD SOON COME,
WHEN I WOULD GET WISE TO THAT NO-GOOD BUM.
"NOW I AM HAPPY AND FINALLY FREE,
TO THINK, DO, AND SAY WHAT I PLEASE;
SO FOR A LITTLE ADVICE BEFORE YOU MARRY,
BE SURE YOUR HUSBAND IS NOT BIG AND HAIRY."
"SO WHEN THE MAN OF YOUR DREAMS TURNS TO A FINK,
GET A DIVORCE OR MAKE A BIG STINK;
BUT IF YOU SEE HE'S NO GOOD FROM THE START,
DROP HIM FAST OR HE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART."

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): LAMENT ADVICE ; METER: IAMBIC TRIMETER ; RHYME: MASCULINE, AABB ; SIMILE INDIRECTION HUMOR MARRIAGE

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TOBACCO IS FILTHY WEED.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DEARBORN

Keyword(s): ADVICE OBSERVATION ; HUMOR METAPHOR OVERSTATEMENT ; KLOC, CHESTERINE ; QUATRAIN CHAIN ELLIPSIS ; RHYME: DOUBLE AABB

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DAN, DAN, THE FUNNY WEE MAN,
WASHED HIS FACE WITH A FRYING PAN.
COMBED HIS HAIR WITH THE LEG OF A CHAIR,
DAN, DAN, THE FUNNY WEE MAN.

Data entry tech comment: OLD DAN TUCKER?

Where learned: NOT GIVEN

Keyword(s): COMPARE "OLD DAN TUCKER" ; QUATRAIN NONSENSE ; RHYME: AABA

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HERE LIES THE BODY OF SOLOMON PEASE.
UNDER THE DAISIES, UNDER THE TREES.
BUT PEASE ISN'T HERE, ONLY THE POD.
PEASE SHELLED OUT AND WENT HOME TO GOD.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): DEATH PUN ; EPITAPH RHYME: COUPLETS ; VEGETABLES: PEAS METAPHOR SLANG

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O-I-C

I'M IN A 10 DER MOOD TODAY
AND FEEL POETIC 2
4 FUN I'LL JUST -- OFF A LINE
AND SEND IT OFF 2 U.

I'M SORRY U HAVE BEEN 6 SO LONG,
DON'T BE DISCONSOL8
BUT BEAR YOUR ILLS WITH 42DE
AND THEY WON'T SEEM SO GR8.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): DIGITAL SPELLING ILLNESS ; QUATRAIN RHYME: ABCB

Date learned: 00-00-1965

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ONE LESS TEST

WHEN I SET MYSELF DOWN TO STUDY,
I PRAY THE LORD I DON'T GO NUTTY;
AND IF I DIE BEFORE I WAKE,
THAT'S ONE LESS TEST I'LL HAVE TO TAKE.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; BIRMINGHAM

Keyword(s): "NOW I LAY ME DOWN TO SLEEP" ; PARODY: PRAYER TO GUARDIAN ANGEL ; RHYME: AABB

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