The James T. Callow Folklore Archive

MY MOTHER WAS TAUGHT THIS POEM WHEN SHE WAS A LITTLE GIRL AND SHE SAYS THAT SHE HAS NEVER FORGOTTEN IT: A WISE OLD O; SAT IN AN OAK,

James Callow comment: RDNeedsReview

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): ADVICE, EXAMPLE ; CHIASMUS ; METER: ANAPESTIC DIMETER ; RHETORICAL QUESTION ; RHYME: MASCULINE, INTERNAL, AABB

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BEANS, BEANS, THE MUSICAL FRUIT;
THE MORE YOU EAT, THE MORE YOU TOOT,
THE MORE YOU TOOT, THE BETTER YOU FEEL,
SO LET'S HAVE BEANS FOR EVERY MEAL.

Submitter comment: FROM GRANDFATHER.
RECITED.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; BIRMINGHAM

Keyword(s): METER: ANAPESTIC ; MONOLOGUE OVERSTATEMENT FOOD ; RHYME: MASCULINE, IMPERFECT, AABB

Date learned: NOT GIVEN

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IT'S NOT THE COUGH
THAT CARRIES YOU OFF.
IT'S THE COFFIN
THEY CARRY YOU OFF IN.

Submitter comment: HEARD AND SAID WHEN YOUNG, 1915-1920.

Where learned: PENNSYLVANIA ; PITTSBURGH

Keyword(s): DEATH ; HUMOR TANGLETALK PUN ; IAMBIC-DACTYLIC, FEMININE RHYME, WORD PLAY, REPETITION ; OBSERVATION, TONGUETWISTER ; QUATRAIN SURPRISE ENDING CONTRAST ; RHYME: AABB

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SITTIN' BY THE ROADSIDE ON A SUMMER DAY,
CHATTING WITH MY MESS MATES, PASSING TIME AWAY,
LAYING IN THE SHADOW UNDERNEATH THE TREE,
GOODNESS, HOW DELICIOUS EATING GOOBER PEAS!

CHORUS: PEAS, PEAS, PEAS, PEAS,
GOODNESS HOW DELICIOUS EATING GOOBERPEAS!

Submitter comment: INFORMANT RECITED IT.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): FOOD ; FOOD, EATING ; GOOBERS=PEANUTS ; IT MAY ALSO BE SUNG. ; METER: IAMBIC, ANAPESTIC ; RHYME: AABB

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WE DON'T HAVE OUR BACKHOUSE ANYMORE,
THINGS ARE MIGHTY DIFFERENT THAN BEFORE.
ONCE I HAD TO GO IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT,
I WAS SUCH A LITTLE FELLOW, I DIDN'T FIT RIGHT.
I TIPPED THE DARN THING OVER AND GOD! WAS I A SIGHT!
WE DON'T HAVE OUR BACKHOUSE ANYMORE.

Submitter comment: MY DAD OFTEN RECITED THE FOLLOWING NURSERY RHYME TO
MY SISTERS AND ME WHEN WE WERE SAD. IT ALWAYS BROUGHT
A SMILE.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): ACCIDENT TOILET ; BACKHOUSE=PRIVY OUTHOUSE ; REPETITION SLANG HUMOR ; RHYME: MASCULINE, AABBBA ; UNDERSTATEMENT OBSERVATION

Date learned: NOT GIVEN

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WE MUST, WE MUST,
WE MUST IMPROVE THE BUST.
THE BIGGER THE BETTER,
THE TIGHTER THE SWEATER,
WE MUST IMPROVE THE BUST.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): ANATOMY ; BOSOM BREAST ; FUNCTION GROWING UP ; MONOLOGUE SLANG DIALECT ; REFRAIN, QUATRAIN? ; RHYME: FEMININE, INTERNAL ; RHYME: IMPERFECT, AABBA

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WHEN I'M DEAD AND IN MY GRAVE,
NO MORE WHISKEY SHALL I CRAVE,
FOR ON MY TOMBSTONE SHALL BE WROTE,
MANY A QUART'S WENT DOWN MY THROAT.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; GARDEN CITY

Keyword(s): DRINKING ; METER: ANAPESTIC DIMETER ; MONOLOGUE QUATRAIN EPITAPH EUPHEMISM ; POOR GRAMMAR ; RHYME: MASCULINE, AABB

Date learned: NOT GIVEN

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THE MAIDEN

THERE ONCE WAS A MAIDEN SO FAIR,
HER BRIGHT BLUE EYES AND GOLDEN HAIR;
BUT HER LIFE WAS RUINED BY A TWIST OF FATE,
THE STORY'S AWFUL, I'M SAD TO RELATE.
YES, THE TALE IS TRUE, FOR I WOULD NOT LIE,
I HEARD IT ONE NIGHT WHILE I WAS STILL HIGH;
I HAVE WRITTEN IT JUST AS SHE TOLD IT TO ME,
AND THE PAIN HAS MADE ME SICK AS CAN BE.
"I LEFT HIM FLAT; FOR HE TREATED ME CRUEL;
FOR NOW I SEE THAT I WAS A FOOL,
HE'S UGLY AND DIRTY AND SMELLS LIKE A HORSE,
AND THAT'S WHY I DECIDED TO GET A DIVORCE."
"I WAS JUST TWENTY WHEN THE MESS DID START,
HE SAID HE WOULD LOVE ME TILL DEATH DO US PART;
LITTLE DID I KNOW THAT THE DAY WOULD SOON COME,
WHEN I WOULD GET WISE TO THAT NO-GOOD BUM.
"NOW I AM HAPPY AND FINALLY FREE,
TO THINK, DO, AND SAY WHAT I PLEASE;
SO FOR A LITTLE ADVICE BEFORE YOU MARRY,
BE SURE YOUR HUSBAND IS NOT BIG AND HAIRY."
"SO WHEN THE MAN OF YOUR DREAMS TURNS TO A FINK,
GET A DIVORCE OR MAKE A BIG STINK;
BUT IF YOU SEE HE'S NO GOOD FROM THE START,
DROP HIM FAST OR HE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART."

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): LAMENT ADVICE ; METER: IAMBIC TRIMETER ; RHYME: MASCULINE, AABB ; SIMILE INDIRECTION HUMOR MARRIAGE

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TOBACCO IS FILTHY WEED.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DEARBORN

Keyword(s): ADVICE OBSERVATION ; HUMOR METAPHOR OVERSTATEMENT ; KLOC, CHESTERINE ; QUATRAIN CHAIN ELLIPSIS ; RHYME: DOUBLE AABB

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DAN, DAN, THE FUNNY WEE MAN,
WASHED HIS FACE WITH A FRYING PAN.
COMBED HIS HAIR WITH THE LEG OF A CHAIR,
DAN, DAN, THE FUNNY WEE MAN.

Data entry tech comment: OLD DAN TUCKER?

Where learned: NOT GIVEN

Keyword(s): COMPARE "OLD DAN TUCKER" ; QUATRAIN NONSENSE ; RHYME: AABA

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ONE LESS TEST

WHEN I SET MYSELF DOWN TO STUDY,
I PRAY THE LORD I DON'T GO NUTTY;
AND IF I DIE BEFORE I WAKE,
THAT'S ONE LESS TEST I'LL HAVE TO TAKE.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; BIRMINGHAM

Keyword(s): "NOW I LAY ME DOWN TO SLEEP" ; PARODY: PRAYER TO GUARDIAN ANGEL ; RHYME: AABB

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(BLANK) IS A FRIEND OF MINE.
HE RESEMBLES FRANKENSTEIN.
WHEN HE DOES THE IRISH JIG,
HE LOOKS JUST LIKE PORKY PIG.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): INSULT DANCING ; PORKY PIG=WALT DISNEY CHARACTER IN MOVIES ; QUATRAIN RHYME: AABB

Date learned: NOT GIVEN

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PAUL REVERE'S DASH

TWAS THE 18TH OF APRIL IN '75,
HARDLY A MAN IS YET ALIVE
WHO REMEMBERS THAT FAMOUS DAY AND YEAR,
OF THE MIDNIGHT RIDE OF PAUL REVERE.
UP THE ALLEY AND DOWN THE STREET,
A TWENTY-YARD DASH FOR THE TOILET SEAT.

Submitter comment: SHE FIRST HEARD IT IN A SEVENTH-GRADE CLASS FROM ANOTHER
PUPIL AT OUR LADY QUEEN OF HEAVEN SCHOOL IN 1961.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; OUR LADY QUEEN OF HEAVEN SCHOOL ; DETROIT

Keyword(s): ANTICLIMAX ; PARODY ; PARODY OF POEM: MIDNIGHT RIDE OF PAUL REVERE ; RHYME: AABB

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VERSE WITHOUT MUSIC

MATHEW, MARK, LUKE AND JOHN,
BLESS THE BED THAT I LIE ON!
ALL FOUR CORNERS ROUND ABOUT,
WHEN I GET IN, WHEN I GET OUT.
FOUR CORNERS TO MY BED,
FOUR ANGELS ROUND MY HEAD;
ONE TO WATCH AND ONE TO PRAY,
AND TWO TO BEAR MY SOUL AWAY.

Submitter comment: HEARD IN SCHOOL.

Where learned: OHIO ; TOLEDO

Keyword(s): DEATH PIOUS SLEEPING BIBLICAL ; PIOUS ; PRAYER ; RHYME: AABB

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YOUR'S 'TILL THE MOUNTAIN PEAKS,
AND SEAS THE SALAD DRESSING.

Submitter comment: THIS IS ONE OF A GROUP OF AUTOGRAPH BOOK VERSES COLLECTED IN 1941.

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; WARREN

James Callow Keyword(s): ALLITERATION ; EUPHEMISM: HEAT FOR HELL ; PUNS ; RHYME: AA

Date learned: 10-25-1972

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AUTOGRAPH RHYME

GI HAIRCUTS, GI HATS, GI THIS AND GI THAT. GI LOVE YOU, GI DO, GI
WISH YOU'D LOVE ME TOO

Where learned: MICHIGAN ; GROSSE POINTE WOODS

James Callow Keyword(s): RHYME: AABB IMPERFECT RHYME

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AUTOGRAPH VERSE

A RING IS ROUND AND HAS NO END AND THAT'S HOW LONG I'LL BE YOUR
FRIEND

Where learned: DETROIT

James Callow Keyword(s): RHYME: AA

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VERSE

WHEN YOU ARE STANDING ON A STUMP, THINK OF ME BEFORE YOU JUMP.

Submitter comment: THIS PIECE OF ADVICE WAS FOUND IN THE INFORMANT'S 8TH GRADE AUTOGRAPH
(BOOK)

Where learned: DETROIT ; TOLD IN

James Callow Keyword(s): RHYME: AA

Date learned: 06-09-1944

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VERSE

WHEN YOU ARE OLD AND OUT OF SHAPE. REMEMBER CORSETS...$4.98.

Submitter comment: "DOLLY HALSIG" IS THE NAME SIGNED UNDER THIS ENTRY
ON THE INFORMANT'S AUTOGRAPH BOOK.

Where learned: DETROIT ; TOLD IN

James Callow Keyword(s): RHYME: AA OLD AGE

Date learned: 06-09-1944

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VERSE

WHEN YOU SEE A MONKEY IN A TREE, PULL ITS TAIL AND THINK OF ME.
CO[ THIS VERSE WAS TAKEN FROM THE INFORMANT'S EIGHTH GRADE AUTOGRAPH BOOK
FROM NICHOLS SCHOOL IN DETROIT IN JUNE, 1944.

Submitter comment: THIS VERSE WAS TAKEN FROM THE INFORMANT'S EIGHTH GRADE AUTOGRAPH BOOK
FROM NICHOLS SCHOOL IN DETROIT IN JUNE, 1944.

Where learned: DETROIT ; TOLD IN

James Callow Keyword(s): ADVICE ; RHYME: AA

Date learned: 06-09-1944

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