The James T. Callow Folklore Archive
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POLLACK JOKE
WHAT'S THE MOST DANGEROUS JOB IN THE WORLD?
RIDING SHOTGUN ON A LOADED GARBAGE TRUCK IN HAMTRAMCK.
Submitter comment:
INFORMANT HEARD THIS ON CAMPUS, UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
Date learned: 04-08-1965
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POLLACK JOKE
WHY DON'T THEY ALLOW DOGS IN HAMTRAMCK.
BECAUSE DOG PEE ON POLES.
Submitter comment:
HEARD THIS AT UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT CAMPUS.
INFORMANT HEARD THIS ON CAMPUS, UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
James Callow Keyword(s):
URINATION
Date learned: 04-08-1965
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POLLACK JOKE
WHAT DO THEY DO WITH IDIOT POLLACKS?
THEY SEND THEM TO TEACH SCHOOL IN ITALY.
Submitter comment:
INFORMANT THINKS HE HEARD THIS AT UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT
CAMPUS.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
Date learned: 04-08-1965
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THERE WERE THESE THREE LITTLE MICE, TWO BOY MICE AND A
GIRL MOUSE. THEY CRAWLED INTO A COOKIE JAR AND STARTED
EATING AWAY AT THE COOKIES. WHEN THEY HAD EATEN QUITE
FAR DOWN, THE GIRL MOUSE BEGAN TO WORRY HOW SHE WAS GOING
TO GET OUT OF THE JAR. SO SHE ASKED ONE OF THE LITTLE
BOY MICE IF HE WOULD HELP HER. "SURE, I'LL HELP YOU,
BUT ONLY IF YOU SLEEP WITH ME TONIGHT." "OH, NO," SHE
SAID, "I COULDN'T DO THAT." "OKAY, I WON'T HELP YOU."
THE MORE SHE THOUGHT ABOUT IT, THE MORE WORRIED SHE GOT.
SO SHE AGREED TO SLEEP WITH HIM. THE NEXT MORNING WHEN
SHE AWOKE, HE WAS GONE. BEING VERY UPSET AND HUNGRY,
SHE BEGAN EATING AT THE COOKIES AGAIN. NOW SHE WAS
ALMOST AT THE BOTTOM AND SHE THOUGHT, "OH, I'LL NEVER
GET OUT." SO SHE ASKED THE OTHER LITTLE BOY MOUSE IF HE
WOULD HELP HER. "SURE, I'LL HELP YOU IF YOU SLEEP WITH
ME TONIGHT." "OH, NO," SHE SAID, "I COULDN'T DO THAT,
AND BESIDES THE OTHER MOUSE TOLD ME THAT AND HE RAN
AWAY." BUT THE MORE SHE THOUGHT, THE MORE WORRIED SHE
SHE GOT AND SHE FINALLY AGREED TO SLEEP WITH HIM. THE
NEXT MORNING WHEN SHE AWOKE, HE WAS GONE TOO. DO YOU
WANT TO KNOW HOW SHE GOT OUT OF THE JAR? SLEEP WITH
ME TONIGHT AND I'LL TELL YOU.
Submitter comment:
THIS STORY WAS TOLD TO THE INFORMANT BY A GIRL WITH
WHOM SHE USED TO ROOM.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
Date learned: 04-23-1965
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THE BOY WHO RAN AWAY
AN EIGHT YEAR OLD BOY RAN AWAY FROM HOME AND WENT TO THE
PLANE STATION TO BUY A PLANE TICKET. HE ASKED THE LADY
FOR A TICKET TO TIJUANA, MEXICO. THE LADY SAID, "LITTLE
BOY, YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO TIJUANA." THE BOY REPLIED,
"I KNOW WHAT I WANT, I WANT WHAT I WANT AND I'VE GOT
THE MONEY TO PAY FOR IT." SO THE BOY GOT OFF THE PLANE
IN TIJUANA AND GOT INTO A CAB. THE LITTLE BOY SAID,
"TAKE ME TO THE DIRTIEST WHORE HOUSE IN THE CITY."
THE CAB DRIVER ANSWERED, "LITTLE BOY, YU DON'T WANT
TO GO TO THE DIRTIEST WHORE HOUSE IN THE CITY."
THE BOY ANSWERED, "I KNOW WHAT I WANT, I WANT WHAT I
WANT AND I'VE GOT THE MONEY TO PAY FOR IT."
THE LITTLE BOY WALKED INTO THE DIRTIEST WHORE HOUSE IN
THE CITY AND ASKED THE MADAME FOR THE GRUBBIEST WHORE
SHE HAD. SHE REPLIED, "LITTLE BOY, YOU DON'T WANT
THE GRUBBIEST WHORE THAT I HAVE." THE BOY ANSWERED
"I KNOW WHAT I WANT, I WANT WHAT I WANT AND I'VE GOT
THE MONEY TO PAY FOR IT."
SO THE LITTLE BOY FINALLY GOT HOME AND A FRIEND OF
HIS ASKED HIM WHY HE DID ALL THIS. THE BOY ANSWERED,
"I WANTED TO GET SYPHILIS. I GAVE IT TO THE BABY
SITTER AND SHE GAVE IT TO MY FATHER. MY FATHER GAVE
IT TO MY MOTHER AND SHE GAVE IT TO THE MILKMAN AND
THAT WAS THE MOTHER-FUCKER I WANTED TO GET."
Submitter comment:
THE INFORMANT HEARD THIS AT THE UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT
STUDENT UNION ABOUT TWO MONTHS AGO.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
Date learned: 01-00-1965
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POLLACK JOKE
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE DEFINITION OF GROSS IGNORANCE IS?
IT'S A HUNDRED AND FOURTY-FOUR POLLACKS.
Submitter comment:
INFORMANT HEARD THIS JOKE ON CAMPUS, UNIVERSITY OF
DETROIT. SHE DID NOT KNOW WHEN.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
Date learned: 03-00-1965
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GRACE BEFORE MEALS
GOOD FOOD, GOOD GOD; LET'S EAT!
Submitter comment:
INFORMANT HEARD THIS FROM HIS FATHER.
Data entry tech comment:
I HEARD IT: GOOD FOOD, GOOD MEAT, GOOD GOD, LET'S EAT!
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
Date learned: 04-11-1965
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POLLACK JOKE
HOW DO YOU TAKE A CENSUS IN HAMTRAMCK?
YOU FLOOD THE BASEMENTS.
Submitter comment:
INFORMANT HEARD THIS ON UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT CAMPUS.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
Date learned: 04-08-1965
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VARIANT OF POLITICAL-BIBLICAL ALLEGORY
THE INFORMANT IS A FIFTEEN YEAR OLD SOPHOMORE IN A
DETROIT COLLEGE PREP SCHOOL. HE RELATED THE STORY TO
ME WHEN WE WERE ON THE SUBJECT OF CHANGING ATTITUDES
TOWARD HISTORICAL LEADERS. HE HEARD HIS FATHER
TELLING THE STORY:
FIVE THOUSAND YEARS AGO MOSES SAID TO THE CHILDREN OF
ISREAL, "PICK UP YOUR SHOVELS, MOUNT YOUR ASSES AND
CAMELS AND I WILL LEAD YOU TO THE PROMISED LAND."
FIVE THOUSAND YEARS LATER FRANKLIN D. ROOSEVELT SAID,
"LAY DOWN YOUR SHOVELS, SIT ON YOUR ASSES, LIGHT UP
A CAMEL, THIS IS THE PROMISED LAND." NOW, LYNDON
B. JOHNSON IS STEALING YOUR SHOVELS, KICKING YOUR
ASSES, RAISING THE PRICE OF CAMELS, AND GIVING AWAY
THE PROMISED LAND TO THE NIGGERS."
Submitter comment:
THIRTEEN YEARS AGO I HEARD THIS STORY FROM A
SOUTHERN WHITE RESTAURANT OWNER, EXCEPT AT THAT TIME
THE REPUBLICANS WERE THE ONES CASTIGATED INSTEAD
OF LYNDON B. JOHNSON (PRESIDENT).
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
Date learned: 03-09-1967
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AJAX WHITE NIGHT JOKE (COMMERCIAL CLEANSING PRODUCT)
WHAT HAPPENED WHEN THE AJAX WHITE KNIGHT RODE
THROUGH A JEWISH NEIGHBORHOOD?
HE BOUGHT A NEW SET OF ARMOUR WHOLESALE.
Submitter comment:
HEARD IN UNIVERSITY OF DETROIT ARCHITECTURE DEPARTMENT.
Data entry tech comment:
ALLUSION TO TELEVISION COMMERCIAL FOR AJAX CLEANSING
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
Date learned: 03-07-1967
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AJAX WHITE NIGHT JOKE (COMMERCIAL CLEANSING PRODUCT)
WHAT HAPPENED WHEN THE AJAX WHITE KNIGHT RODE THROUGH A
NEGRO NEIGHBORHOOD?
HE GOT MUGGED.
Data entry tech comment:
ALLUSION TO TELEVISION COMMERCIAL FOR AJAX CLEANSING
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
Date learned: 03-07-1967
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AJAX WHITE NIGHT JOKE (COMMERCIAL CLEANSING PRODUCT)
WHAT HAPPENED WHEN THE AJAX WHITE KNIGHT RODE THROUGH AN
ITALIAN NEIGHBORHOOD?
THE DIRT WAS STRONGER.
Submitter comment:
HEARD IN U. OF D.'S ARCHITECTURE DEPARTMENT
Data entry tech comment:
ALLUSION TO TELEVISION COMMERCIAL FOR AJAX CLEANSING
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
Date learned: 03-07-1967
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POLLACK JOKE
HOW MANY POLLACKS DOES IT TAKE TO PAINT A HOUSE?
201; 200 TO LIFT THE HOUSE UP AND DOWN AND ONE TO
HOLD THE BRUSH.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
Date learned: 04-08-1965
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POLLACK JOKE
DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE SEVEN FOOT POLLACK WHO DIED?
THEY ONLY HAD A SIX FOOT CASKET SO THEY GAVE HIM AN
ENEMA AND BURIED HIM IN A MATCH BOX.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
Date learned: 04-08-1965
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POLLACK JOKE
WHAT IS THE DEFINITION OF A POLISH LOUAH?
FOUR POLLACKS SITTING AROUND A CEPTIC TANK WITH STRAWS.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
Date learned: 04-08-1965
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POLLACK JOKE
HOW MANY POLLACKS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?
THREE. ONE TO HOLD THE BULB AND TWO TO TURN THE LADDER.
Submitter comment:
INFORMANT HEARD THIS ON U. OF D.'S CAMPUS. HE DOES NOT KNOW WHEN.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
Date learned: 04-08-1965
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BUBBLE LINE
DID YOU EVER HEAR ABOUT THE SIXTH GIRL ON A FIVE
BUBBLE LINE?
Submitter comment:
INFORMANT DID NOT KNOW WHERE HE HEARD THIS JOKE.
Where learned: MICHIGAN ; DETROIT
Date learned: 04-08-1965
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